Awareness. What does that mean? It means watching yourself. When you talk to someone, are you listening? When you got angry with somebody, were you aware that you were angry or were you simply reacting? Later, when you had the time, did you study your experience and attempt to understand it? Where did it come from? What brought it on?
You only change what you understand. What you do not understand and are not aware of, you repress. You don’t change.
What happens when live in reality? You will have less fear. You will be more energetic and alive. Get rid of your fear of failure, your tensions about succeeding, you will be yourself. Relaxed. You wouldn’t be driving with your brakes on.
Someone once said, “The three most difficult things for a human being are not physical feats or intellectual achievements. They are, first, returning love for hate; second, including the excluded; third, admitting that you are wrong.” But these are the easiest things in the world if you haven’t identified with the “me.” You can say things like “I’m wrong!
You step outside of yourself and look at your own reality—your truth—you can stop identifying with it. You don’t do a thing to make it go away; you are perfectly willing to go on with your life while it passes through you and disappears. And anxiety? It can come and it will go because you know it will—you are aware of it and have withheld its power over you. You can let that cloud come in, because the more you fight it, the more power you give it. Be willing to observe it as it passes by. You can be content in your anxiety. You can observe your depression today and let it go tomorrow.
It’s been there all along, staring us in the face, though we never cared to see it because we were so drowned in what our culture calls love with its love songs and poems—that isn’t love at all, that’s the opposite of love. That’s desire and control and possessiveness. That’s manipulation, and fear, and anxiety—that’s not love.
We were told that happiness is a smooth complexion, shiny things, perfect companions. It isn’t these things, but we have subtle ways of making our happiness depend on other things, both within us and outside us. We say, “I can’t be happy until _________.” I have good news for you: You can be happy right now but you must stop thinking or focusing on what you don’t have.
Some excerpts from ‘Awareness: The Perils and Opportunities of Reality’ by Anthony De Mello